Homeless family in a car.

Throughout this whole homeless experience, for me, Sunday nights have really been the hardest nights of the week to be without Leon. Sundays have always been our hangout nights because we are finished with worship, and neither one of us work on Mondays. We would go out to dinner, to wine bars, go see movies, etc., all on Sundays because we knew we could sleep in the next morning. 

Well, this month, it has been a little challenging to get used to being home without Leon on Sundays. I have invited myself to some friends' houses, I have stayed in and hung out with the Thomsons, but even with all that activity, I still really miss Leon. 

So this Sunday after church, when a whole group of people were planning on going to Dallas to see Leon, I decided to pack some blankets, pillows, warm clothes, and load up Micah, and prepare to spend the night in the car with Leon, as a family. 

Now let me just preface this by saying that I am not a camper, an outdoorsy girl, or in any way shape or form someone who likes to "rough it".....in fact, it is safe to sayto say that I am probably the antithesis of all those things. I am a product of my father, who, when he heard Leon was going to be homeless for November, said, "If Leon is going homeless in November, then I will spend the night in a Super 8 for the whole month to show my support!" And a Super 8 to my dad, would be just like homelessness is to Leon! :) So knowing this fact, and being well-acquainted with my inner princess whom he has come to know and love, Leon was ecstatic when he heard that I was actually going to come down to Dallas to "be homeless" with him. I was a little unsure of the whole experience, but was doing this just to get to spend some time with my husband. Little did I know, I was going to get so much more out of the experience...

We, along with several of our friends, and some new friends we met, spent the afternoon at the deck park, where Leon frequently hangs out. Not only is it a phenomenal new park, but he says that when he is alone on the streets, it can get depressing, so being around families with kids, laughter and happiness, always helps lift his spirits. 

After everyone headed back home, instead of saying goodbye like we usually do, Micah and I hung out a little longer downtown with Leon. It was great to get to spend some one-on-one time in Leon's new "home," hear some of the stories he had to tell and see some of the places he frequents.

When we got tired, we all had a restroom break at a public restroom, found a parking spot to camp out for the night, and made our bed on pillows and blankets (lots of pillows and blankets...100% more in fact than what Leon has when he sleeps in a car......I wanted it to be a somewhat comfortable car bed, since I was in this to see my husband, not trying to learn anything from this experience!), and we went to sleep, together, as a family. 

I didn't really think much of the experience, aside from being proud of myself for not being overly high-maintenance in our overnight stint in the car (and for not having to use the restroom in the middle of the night!!). But that all changed when I awoke the next morning.

As I tossed and turned, starting at about 5am, my shoulder in pain, even from sleeping in the "comfy" car, I thought about all the families out there who really do have to live out of their cars. I even found out from Leon that his family (of 2 parents and 7 children) had to live out of their car for a time, and they didn't even have an SUV like we do!

And the thing that struck me about this whole experience is that these families live and walk among us, and we don't even realize it! It is one thing to be dirty, disheveled, and walk around with everyone who passes by knowing that you are homeless and need food, money, or quite honestly, alcohol. It is a completely different thing to be going to work, your kids going to school, trying to live, eat, shower, shave, and do laundry, just like everybody else, but having to go home to a parking spot each night. And the surprising thing is that the stereotypical, TV image of a homeless person that we have in our minds make up only 10% of all homeless people in America. The rest are hopping from house to house or shelter to shelter until they can get on their feet, or living out of their cars, just as Leon, Micah and I did for a night. Talk about eye-opening! 

Now, I got to go home right after that, take a shower, bathe Micah, do laundry, and have a meal after my one night of homelessness. But even as I type this, there are hundreds of families who live like that day in and day out, night after night, and they somehow have to make due with that reality, while trying to blend in as best they can with the rest of us. And as of Sunday night, I have a new respect for those individuals and families. And surprisingly, as I have learned from some of our friends who have shared their past stories of homelessness with us, many of us have been there for a time in our lives as well. 

So I set out to just get a little time with my husband, and I ended up with an eye-opening homeless experience of my own. Here is the only picture we have of our "car bed" with Micah getting cozy before we tucked ourselves in for the night.....

Our "chosen" family.

We all have family. Some good, some bad, but most families are just plain complicated! Leon's family has been one of those complicated families. I have mentioned it before, but Leon has grown up with childhood abuse, been to foster care on more than one occasion growing up, living with parents who did not necessarily know how, or have the means to take care of a big family. He learned early on that his friends were the only things he had to keep him grounded, because his family was a very high-stress situation. And even with friends, he has had his fair share of heartache and betrayal.

But I think Leon and I can both agree that we are where we are today because of our "chosen" family...that is, those people whom we choose to be around and keep close to us, because they give us strength and help us become better versions of ourselves.

And today, I would like to pay special homage to one person in Leon's life who has been there through thick and thin...faithfully, unrelentingly, supporting Leon in his homeless endeavor, as well as all sorts of struggles, drama, and difficult situations before any of this even happened.....this blog post is for Layne!

Do you ever meet people in life who just seem so nice, that as you get to know them more, you find yourself wondering when their bad side will come out? Well, that's Layne....one of those salt-of-the-earth, would go above and beyond for anyone, genuine friend-kinda guys.

We met Layne about 2 years ago, and immediately hit it off. We found out right away that two of his favorite things are wine and deep conversations, so we knew that we were destined to be friends. Despite the fact that Layne is more than 20 years older than Leon, they have become the best of friends, as a result of late-night outings to Funky's, and evenings that ended at Layne's bachelor pad, drinking wine until 2 and 3am, just so we could finish a conversation.

Layne has shown so much compassion, love, and support for us ever since we first met him. He has stuck his neck out there on multiple occasions, has dealt with gossip, slander, and all kinds of issues (that we all know arise in church!) just to make it clear to everyone that he is in full support of Leon, his heart, and his mission. And now that Leon is out there on the streets of Dallas, Layne has proven himself faithful yet again. He is making himself available to Leon every morning and every evening, if he ever needs someone to talk to. He is faithfully praying for our whole family right now, he comes to check on Micah and me, and has become a rock for our family, and truly one of our very best friends in life.

I say all that, not to embarrass Layne (and I know this blog post will!), but I say all that to say this...we all need those people in our lives who offer us support and comfort and constant encouragement. One of the things that Leon has found from living on the streets is that you cannot create hope on your own. Whatever you are going through, you need someone supporting you and praying for you so you can get through it. You need people to keep you on track, keep you protected, and to have your back. We were not created to live life alone, and I think we can all agree, that friendships...not the shallow ones that don't mean anything, but the real, genuine, deep friendships are what get us through good times and trying times. So be cautious about who you surround yourselves with...are they people who uplift you, or people who bring you down?

So here are 2 mini-challenges for you for this month of thankfulness....1. For those of you who have a "Layne" in your life, tell them you love and appreciate them. Tell them today, and tell them often. We never know how much we will come to rely on those friends, until we go through challenging circumstances in our lives, and will really need their support. Why not let them know what they mean to us.... And, 2. BE a "Layne" to your friends. You never know how you may impact someone's life just by being a faithful, loyal, caring friend to them when they need it. Let's pray for each other, and truly help each other through hard times and good. That is what Jesus modeled for us in the Bible as well, and I can think of no greater example to live by than His.

"My command is this: love one another as I have loved you."
-John 15:12

Leon and Layne, playing poker, right before Leon left for the streets.

Focusing on the family.

It has been a while since my last post, mostly due to the fact that I have been focusing in on what is going on with our family, and trying to protect Micah's feelings and get a little more daddy time. Since last Tuesday, when we caved and went downtown to visit Leon, things have been completely different around here. Micah has gone back to his happy, fun-loving self, and I have been less of a drag to be around too. I think having Leon back on our radar, and being more involved in what he is doing on the streets has really changed our family dynamic for the better.

Since my last post, I sent Micah down to Dallas with Layne on Thursday morning, so he could spend the morning with his dad. Leon has also become a registered "Street Zine" vendor, with a badge number and everything, so he is able to sell Street Zines to make money (so if you are downtown, make sure you purchase one from someone...it's a great program for the homeless to make some money without panhandling!). So Leon and Micah spent the morning on Thursday selling Street Zines, walking the streets of downtown with Micah on Leon's shoulders, and then I met them later that afternoon at the new deck park downtown. Here is the scene I walked up to, when I found them that day (turn your volume down, there is some loud construction going on in the background)...

As you can imagine, it melted my heart, and I knew that Micah was the happiest child in the world, getting to skip preschool and spend the morning with his dad! We stayed at the awesome new park for a while, and let Micah play in the fountains...

And then we even walked over to the Fountain building to show Micah the fountains, which he, of course, loved! When Leon and I first met, we spent our first night together at the fountain building, where he played guitar for me and swept me off my feet. We spent the night talking forever, about life, our goals, our struggles, and that is where we fell in love...yes, the first night we hung out! So now we brought Micah back there, and even got a picture on the exact bench where we sat all night....

All in all, it was a great day. And since then, things have been much better, both for Leon and for us. Because I caved and went to see Leon, I got to participate in the coat and blanket drive that Taylor, a former youth student of Leon's organized. Here are some pictures from that amazing day, where we were able to give coats, hats, gloves, blankets, water and granola bars to many people without homes or winter-appropriate clothing....

And that brings us to today...a little more upbeat, a little more hopeful, and a little more thankful for what we have, and the fact that we have a wonderful family with so much love, and that even in the midst of Leon's mission, he isn't willing to sacrifice the well-being of our family to accomplish what he set out to do.

Yes, he is still committed to the 30 days, and thankfully, Micah and I get to be more of a part of it now.

I caved and had to find Leon!

Our first hug in 6 days, in Klyde Warren Park just a few hours ago when I found him tonight!

So I know one of the challenges of this 30 days of homelessness was for him not to see his family. Not really sure why we threw that one in there, but we did. I guess part of me didn’t want to get in the way of something he has wanted to do for years and years. So we decided that Leon and I would have no contact. We said a very tearful goodbye last Thursday, and went our separate ways. 

Now, only 6 days have gone by, and I cracked. I have had some good and some bad days, but I was having to adjust to living life without Leon. I am sleeping alone, waking up alone, going to work alone, parenting alone, eating meals alone, and doing everything that Leon and I normally did together, alone. It wasn’t fun. I had a hard first few days. And don’t get me wrong, I have tremendous support from family and friends who are keeping me occupied, and Mary, whom I see everyday...but I didn’t have my husband, and Micah didn’t have his daddy.

Micah has had some emotional outbursts lately, been very clingy to me, and has just not really been himself. I have been stressed, exhausted, emotional, and also not myself. And today, I just had to call Leon to talk to him (yes, he’s carrying an in case of emergency cell phone). I cratered. I explained everything that had been going on and how hard this was, and how I couldn’t do it anymore and that he should just come home. 

Now on an aside...I understand that 6 days is not very long, and in fact, many families have one parent or the other who travels a lot, or works a lot, and they are used to the separation. I just have to say that Leon and I are not used to that kind of separation. We are both very involved in all aspects of our family. I go to work with him and help him with all the church things he does, we both take Micah to school and pick him up, we hang out together after work....we are truly best friends and we do everything together. That is our reality, and that is what we are used to. And 6 days is the longest we have been apart since we got married. So it has been tough. 

When Leon heard how hysterical I was on the other line and how much this has really affected our family, he told me something that put everything into perspective.

He first of all assured me that his journey was not done. He was still pushing forward, and although  he had already learned a TON, he still had more to learn and accomplish. As for me, however, my journey of separation is over. He explained to me that because I was talking so unlike myself, and because I had been so upset that life had to go on without him here, I had visited the emotional state of that separation, and now it was time for it to end. He let me know that the only next step, once I got to this low emotional point, was to start adjusting to life without him, start surviving, and start becoming independent. And that was never the goal. 

I was never supposed to get used to life without Leon. I was never supposed to allow Micah to get used to life without his daddy, because that is not our reality. It was good to understand a little about the separation-factor, but that time is up. Now it is my time to not require Leon to give up on what he feels called to do so we can save our family, but now to be a part of it. Instead of trying to stay away because we set up some “rule” for ourselves in the beginning, I could now jump right in like everyone else is doing, and support him more directly. We make the rules anyway, so who was I trying to please? This is the love of my life I’m talking about...what criticism (that I’m sure I WILL get from some haters out there!) is worth staying away from the person I love the most in this world, just because we set up a challenge for ourselves at the beginning? That would be crazy.

So all that to say, after hearing that and gaining some perspective on the whole situation, I grabbed Micah as fast as I could, sped downtown in the middle of rush hour, grabbed some dinner, and Micah and I had a picnic in the park with Leon. It was incredible to see him, and sad to leave, but not as sad because I know I will see him more often now. And that gave me a ton of comfort today. 

Here are just a few pictures to share from our visit in the park tonight: