Focusing on the family.

It has been a while since my last post, mostly due to the fact that I have been focusing in on what is going on with our family, and trying to protect Micah's feelings and get a little more daddy time. Since last Tuesday, when we caved and went downtown to visit Leon, things have been completely different around here. Micah has gone back to his happy, fun-loving self, and I have been less of a drag to be around too. I think having Leon back on our radar, and being more involved in what he is doing on the streets has really changed our family dynamic for the better.

Since my last post, I sent Micah down to Dallas with Layne on Thursday morning, so he could spend the morning with his dad. Leon has also become a registered "Street Zine" vendor, with a badge number and everything, so he is able to sell Street Zines to make money (so if you are downtown, make sure you purchase one from someone...it's a great program for the homeless to make some money without panhandling!). So Leon and Micah spent the morning on Thursday selling Street Zines, walking the streets of downtown with Micah on Leon's shoulders, and then I met them later that afternoon at the new deck park downtown. Here is the scene I walked up to, when I found them that day (turn your volume down, there is some loud construction going on in the background)...

As you can imagine, it melted my heart, and I knew that Micah was the happiest child in the world, getting to skip preschool and spend the morning with his dad! We stayed at the awesome new park for a while, and let Micah play in the fountains...

And then we even walked over to the Fountain building to show Micah the fountains, which he, of course, loved! When Leon and I first met, we spent our first night together at the fountain building, where he played guitar for me and swept me off my feet. We spent the night talking forever, about life, our goals, our struggles, and that is where we fell in love...yes, the first night we hung out! So now we brought Micah back there, and even got a picture on the exact bench where we sat all night....

All in all, it was a great day. And since then, things have been much better, both for Leon and for us. Because I caved and went to see Leon, I got to participate in the coat and blanket drive that Taylor, a former youth student of Leon's organized. Here are some pictures from that amazing day, where we were able to give coats, hats, gloves, blankets, water and granola bars to many people without homes or winter-appropriate clothing....

And that brings us to today...a little more upbeat, a little more hopeful, and a little more thankful for what we have, and the fact that we have a wonderful family with so much love, and that even in the midst of Leon's mission, he isn't willing to sacrifice the well-being of our family to accomplish what he set out to do.

Yes, he is still committed to the 30 days, and thankfully, Micah and I get to be more of a part of it now.

What will I tell Micah in November?

Micah's golf pose, at his first golf lesson with his Daddy this week.

A very common question I get is “what will you tell Micah when Leon is gone?” I haven’t really been too worried about that because, Micah is only 2 and I’m thinking won’t remember too much from this time. Sure, he will ask where Daddy is, but when I tell him “Daddy is working”, or “Daddy’s not here right now,” I am assuming that Micah will just go on with his everyday life until Leon comes back in December. 

That assumption all changed for me a couple days ago when Leon took Micah to the driving range for the first golf experience. Micah said all morning, “I play golf with Daddy!” He was so excited, and could not wait to have some boy time with his dad. Leon took him to the driving range, and out of a bucket of 100 balls, Leon probably hit 5 of them. The entire time, Micah wanted to hit the golf balls, so Leon took 2 hours out of his day, and helped his son learn to hit a golf ball with the mini golf clubs we borrowed from the Thomsons. 

                                       

It was then that I realized that there will be a huge hole in our family during the month of November. Not only will my husband, my partner in crime, my rock and my love, be missing....but Micah’s daddy, his wrestling partner, his ball-player, and his teacher will be missing as well. While I am missing the love of my life, Micah will be missing his hero. 

So how do I explain that to my 2 year old?

Maybe he will not remember this time in our lives. And maybe (well, hopefully!) he will be spared from major psychological ramifications from this one month. But he will most definitely feel the impact of this month, subconsciously. He will miss his rough-housing partner. He will miss being thrown in the air and caught with strong arms. He will miss his sports buddy, who always has the energy to play ball. He (and I) will miss the discipline and structure that Daddy offers. 

So whatever explanation I give Micah, I will know underneath it all that the hole that Leon’s absence creates is beyond anything I could make up for. I know that single-parent households exist all over, every day, and that they actually function well. But for us, that is not the reality, and that is not something that is right for us at this point, so the hole will be huge. And the impact will be great. 

Malachi 4:6 says “And he will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers.” 

I choose to think that because God never causes destruction, and because I believe He has called Leon to do this great thing, that He will restore everything that suffers in the midst of it all. If Micah does make any long-term memories during this next month, I know that God will restore everything, and that Leon’s heart of selflessness will live on, even to inspire Micah to follow the heart of God when he gets older. And that’s my prayer for Micah. 

One of Micah’s many lessons during his golf outing with Dad.