It's official...he's on the streets.

Taking a moment, at Leon's farewell breakfast at Cafe Brazil, Deep Ellum.

As of 2:30pm today, Leon is officially released onto the streets of downtown Dallas. How do I feel, considering it’s now 7:21pm and dark? It’s hard to put a finger on how I feel, but I would have to say 20% numb, 5% excited to see how it goes, 75% freaking out!

This is the most complex set of emotions I have ever felt, and I’m not too sure how to deal with it. After a lunch with the Thomsons, Layne (who will be meeting with Leon every day and debriefing him, as well as tweeting his run-ins with Leon throughout this month....follow @CPALayne on Twitter), and Chris Hatchett, our good friend and fabulous photographer, we sent Leon out on his way into the streets of downtown. 

I, of course, cried...because it is not only scary for me to walk away from the love of my life on the streets of Dallas, but also because it brought me back to a time when we were dating, and lived far apart. He would come visit me in Dallas, but then head back to Lubbock for a couple weeks, and it seemed like death every time he left. That’s what it felt like today. But then, in the car on the way back home, I numbed out. 

It wasn’t until a few minutes ago that my numb stage wore off, and now it is just plain panic. I knew this was coming, but I thought he would have a plan that I could look over and approve before leaving me. But that was not the case. In pure Leon form, he went out there blind...no preparation, no supplies, and no plan. I, a, shall we say, Type A personality, am not ok with no plan. And therefore I find myself in my current state....freaking out (which in the time it has taken me to make brownies, pour more wine, clean the kitchen, put a 2 year old to bed, and continue with this blog, has moved up to more like 95% freaking out). 

My biggest fear is my husband’s safety and that he will be able to find a place to sleep tonight-and actually sleep tonight....so for those of you who pray, that’s what you need to pray for!

But as I type this, I am reminded of Jeremiah 29:11, which says “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” A very familiar verse to me, and maybe to many of you. But I needed to be reminded of that tonight. When I am freaking out because I do not have a plan, and I don’t know Leon’s plan, I have to remind myself that God has a plan. And that He will make a way out of the chaos of this situation that is better than any plan I could come up with, even on my best Type A planning days. 

But that’s not all...the scripture then goes on to say, “Then you will come to me and pray to me and I will listen to you.” So not only does God have a plan, but if I will just trust that plan, and keep moving forward in faith, I will be led to prayer, and God will listen. 

So whatever any of you might be going through tonight-and I know that everyone reading this is dealing with their own giants in their lives, just like I am-I hope that verse comforts you like it did me. It was just what I needed, right when I needed it, and my prayer is that everyone will be able to trust that whatever your faith or background, God knows the plans He has for you, and He will be faithful to listen when you call on him. 

Goodnight everybody...day 1 is over, and the countdown is on!