Ok I understand that we are going to get fat during pregnancy. We are going to have swollen ankles because our bodies are retaining water like crazy when we have a huge child in our abdomen. And I don't like it, but I understand that childbirth is going to hurt like hell....just look at the sheer physics of an 8lb watermelon coming out of a pinhole. But what the heck is the purpose of us feeling so sad afterwards?!
I mean, we make it through pregnancy gracefully (or ungracefully in my case), and we have this amazing new child to show for it, and how do we get to enjoy it? By crying our eyes out! Doesn't seem fair does it?
The day I got home from the hospital I cried when I saw that Micah liked his wipe warmer and didn't cry when we changed his diaper anymore. Then I cried when I saw that my parents left us some coffee in the pantry from their stay at our house while we were in the hospital. Then I proceeded to cry on the bed for the next 2 days for no reason at all. I just got sad, and I cried and cried and cried. Leon didn't know what to do, and the saddest thing of all was that he thought he had done something, but the truth was that I was just crying for no reason.
I know that some people have this to a greater degree than others. Some have thoughts of hurting their babies, some don't. I haven't had any of those thoughts, but I do know of several people who did, and had to get over it with some serious help. I guess I just felt like a freak for having these unexplainable feelings of sadness that I couldn't get rid of, until I heard from some of my other mommy friends on Facebook. Just knowing that a ton of other people had these same feelings to different degrees made me feel better...and that also made me realize how important it is for us to be honest about our true feelings because it just may help someone else.
So to everyone who was honest with me, I just want to thank you for helping me through it. And encourage everyone to keep being real with each other about our struggles and triumphs, because I am sure motherhood will have its share of both!
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