One of the scariest things about being a new parent is the huge responsibility of being in charge of another person's life. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually, Micah depends on Leon and me for his needs to be met all day, every day. But in order for Micah to get what he needs from me emotionally, I need to make sure that I myself am emotionally sound. Same with spirituality...if Micah even has a prayer of getting any spiritual modeling, I have to be in a good place spiritually.
Well, recently (and while I realize that some people aren't really interested in talking about this subject, I made a commitment to be real, and this is a real part of my life, so I have to talk about it...) I have had a problem meeting one of Micah's basic needs. I am not producing much breastmilk anymore, and therefore feel like I am not giving him one of the basic of things that he needs right now.
I know many people will argue that there is always formula, and that though it is proven that breastmilk is in fact the best thing for babies, formula is not a bad thing, and I am not a bad mother for having to use breastmilk right now. But my own personal goal was to keep Micah on breastmilk until he switched to regular milk just because I want what is healthiest for my baby, with no exception. I do not think formula is inherently bad, nor do I think that mothers who make a decision to use formula are not doing what is best for their babies. But personally, I had a goal that I set for myself and my child, and it looks like I am not going to live up to that goal, and that is where my frustration lies.
I have tried all-natural fenugreek seeds (which Leon researched and found for me), I am eating and drinking lots of water, I am getting plenty of rest, and still nothing. I admit I am under some stress right now, dealing with our dog Coco's brain tumor and all that, but I cannot figure out what to do. And beating myself up over it isn't helping me one bit.
So I pose two questions...first of all, if anyone who is reading this has gone through the same thing and has found something that worked for them, what was it?? I am willing to try anything at this point! And secondly, if in fact nothing can be done, and I just have to accept my fate as an unwilling formula convert, how do I change my frame of mind to not think of myself as a terrible mother every time I have to mix up a bottle for Micah?
I plan on breast feeding too and I heard that some women can only produce for so long or can only produce so much! I am worried about this problem too! Recently one of my friends quit producing and she found out the reason she quit producing was because she was expecting again!
ReplyDeleteAwww Lauren, don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sorry I don't have any tips, but I'll have Jessica give you a holla. I think we went through the same problem for a short peroid too, but then it passed.
ReplyDeleteh.
I had this issue off and on while I breastfed. Pumping really helped keep my milk producing, because I found that Cade would stop sucking if there wasn't anything there, but a pump would keep going to help stimulate my breasts. So I'd go for a few days where it was low, but I kept pumping anyways even if nothing was there, and then it'd pick back up. Also a friend gave me something called "more milk plus" It's an herbal supplement and it does contain femugreek seeds along with some other things. I think she got it at whole foods or central market.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I didn't meet my goal either. I wanted to supplement when I went back to work and still nurse him as well, but he's on all formula now! I really miss it!